Classic Bar Jokes

Classic Barroom Jokes

A Guy Goes Into a Bar...
The Ultimate Classic Bar Room Joke Book

A guy walks into a bar and sees a tiny little man, no more than a foot tall, playing a tiny piano on top of the bar.  The guy says to the bartender, "That's incredible!  Where on earth did you find something like that?

The bartender says, "Back in the bathroom behind the toilet there's a magic lamp.  If you make a wish and rub the lamp, a genie will grant your wish".

The guy can't believe it, so he goes to the bathroom and sure enough, there's a strange lamp behind the toilet.  He makes a wish and rubs it, then all of a sudden he hears what sounds like a tornado. 

He opens the bathroom door to see a million ducks rushing into the bar.  "Oh no!" he cries, "I didn't want a million "ducks"!"
"Tell me about it," says the bartender, "I didn't want a 12-inch pianist, either."