Classic Bar Jokes

Classic Barroom Jokes

A Guy Goes Into a Bar...
The Ultimate Classic Bar Room Joke Book

One night a patrolman was staking out the local bar on the lookout for drunk drivers. At closing time, he saw a man stumble out of the bar, trip over the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his own.

Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes as everyone else was driving away. Finally, he started the engine and began to drive off.

The cop was waiting for him and stopped him right away and gave him a breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be:  "You were acting as drunk as a skunk!"

The driver replied, "Well Officer, tonight I'm the designated decoy."