|
Symptom |
Trouble |
Action |
| Feet
cold and wet |
Glass
being held at incorrect angle |
Rotate
glass so that open end points toward ceiling. |
| Feet
warm and wet |
Improper
bladder control |
Nothing
you can do about it now. |
| Beer
unusually pale and tasteless |
Glass
empty |
Get
someone to buy you another beer. |
| Beer
tasteless, front of your shirt is wet |
Mouth
not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face |
Get
someone to help you maneuver. |
| Beer
is crystal clear. |
You
are drinking water. Someone is trying to sober you up. |
Punch
him. |
| Floor
is blurred. |
You
are looking through the bottom of an empty glass. |
Get
someone to buy you another beer. |
| Floor
is moving. |
You
are being carried out |
Request
to be thrown in the general direction of the next closest bar. |
| Everyone
looks up to you and smiles. |
You
are dancing on a table. |
Look
for someone cushy-looking to fall on. |
| Your
singing sounds distorted. |
Beer
is too weak. |
Have
more beer until your voice improves. |
| Don't
remember the words to the song. |
Beer
is just right. |
Play
air guitar. |
| Don't
recognize the room you're in or anyone there. |
You've
wandered into the wrong party. |
See
if they have free beer and eats. |
