| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. |
| WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may make you think you have super-human
fighting powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked. |
| WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
to literally disappear. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that old friends and
ex-lovers really enjoy it when you call them on the phone at 3:30 in
the morning. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people, causing you to
act like an moron, and/or causing you to get beat up, broken up with,
even arrested. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up on a sidewalk in a
pool of vomit, wondering where your car keys, wallet, and automobile
are. |
| WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may be the leading cause of pregnancy! |
