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| Getting Out of Jury Duty |
A man was chosen for jury duty who didn't want to serve at all. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked.
On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.
"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said, 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty.' So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!"
With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That man is his lawyer." |
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| Small Town Attorney |
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a be a big-shot here as opposed to the big city.
He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.
As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking...
"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million..."
"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support..."
"Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details..."
This sort of thing went on for almost 5 minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man.
"I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man replied "I'm from the phone company...I came to hook up your phone." |
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