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The Good News

Good News The Bad News

Bad News Jokes


Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news.
Patient:  What's the good news?
Doctor:  The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: That's the good news?  What's the bad news?
Doctor: The bad news is that  I forgot to call you yesterday!

Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad news.


What's the good news?
Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came in here today asking if the price of your paintings would go up after you die.  When I told him they would he bought every one of your paintings.
Artist: That's great!  What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your doctor!

Wife: I have some good news and some bad news.
Husband: What's the good news?
Wife: The good news is I found a picture that's worth $500,000.
Husband: Wow!  That's wonderful!  What's the bad news?
Wife: The bad news is that the picture is of you and your secretary!

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene
Client: Oh no!  I'm ruined!  What's the good news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: The good news is they are naming a disease after you!

  Want some really good news?  Click Here!


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